So begins God Hand, Clover Studio and director Shinji Mikami’s swan song and ode to brawlers, slapstick, suppressed sexuality, tank controls, Mike Tyson, and just about every other goddamn thing in the world. “They’re still sexier than you are.” And then we’re punching guys. The man falls to his knees, “Water!” The woman chimes in, “Gene… this place reeks.” “I know… Wait, you don’t expect me to mop up.” Huh? “Come on those guys are cake.” Bad guys? “Not to mention much sexier than you.” What? “Well looks like your sexy little friends are coming for a dance.” Thugs approach. Who’da thunk! But like the way mom and dad put on a good face for Jr’s birthday party-even though the divorce papers are being filed-it’s time to celebrate 15 years of GOD HAND, and if you’re so inclined, sneak a peek at this weak leek of a critique of The Greatest Video Game of All-Time.Ī tumbleweed rolls across the plain, a man and woman walk into a dusty western town. I originally typed this mess up for the world on May 9th, 2019, and, uh, well the world was a lot simpler then.
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